• Rev. Ani

Dear One



Dear One,


I am writing to remind you of things you already know. Someone else’s foul mood or negative reaction is not about you. Sometimes when people feel uncomfortable, they look for the source of their discomfort outside of themselves and then project it onto you; but don’t receive their projection. Each person is responsible for their own experience of life.


Co-dependence is founded on the false belief that you are the cause of someone else’s emotions or responsible for managing their experience. When someone is upset and assigning blame to you, it can be difficult to detach from their projections if there is a part of you that thinks that you deserve punishment. When this belief in your own culpability is present, you will receive their blame like a key in a lock, confirming your own guilt.


The alternative is to recognize when someone is attempting to give you responsibility for their feelings and to detach from their projections. This situation is an opportunity to offer love to yourself and the other person by silently affirming, “That is not about me. They are just triggered. It doesn’t mean anything.” Then from this place of truth, you may offer empathy, withdraw, or set a boundary. This new skill requires practice and patience, so trust the process.


Remember, this moment is an opportunity to connect to Love, and therefore, to live into the fullness of who you are.


As always, do what best awakens you to love,

Your Inner Wisdom

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