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  • Writer's pictureRev. Ani

The Fear of Losing Him

Poems From The Porch

I dreamed of him briefly this morning.

I was sitting in my old prayer chair in the sunroom writing,

and he came through the side porch door and said, "Hey you," and I said, "Thank God! and ran to hug him.

The moment we embraced, I woke up.

Now the kitties are gathered around me

offering their presence and making sweet eyes.

Pleasant incense is wafting my way,

accompanied by the brief visit of a red-headed woodpecker.

The day is cool and brisk,

a blue sky of clarity beckoning me to open wide into Beingness.

I smile as I recognize that he is all but haunting me to give me the reassurance

that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

I'm asking myself of what I need to let go

to receive the peace that his diligence is offering.

In a flash, it is crystal clear.

"I lost him. He is gone," is the story that plunges the serrated spear into my vulnerability.

Then a portal opens,

a place of knowing in my heart.

The only thing that stops me from seeing him

is my insistence that he is no longer here.

Attachment to the narrative is what hinders,

not my deep affection for him.

I am here. I am here!

The bonds of love cannot be broken

because they compose the substance of Who We Are.

Listen, dear one.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all and within your own heart.


Engaging With The Poem

Poetry can be a doorway to the soul and your own creativity. Throughout the ages, the written word has been used as a means to access personal truth and as a vehicle for prayer through the practice of sacred reading (lectio divina). I encourage you to try this beautiful practice and let its truths to be self-evident.

How To Practice Sacred Reading


READ the passage through slowly more than once, noticing how it feels in your body and the response of your heart.

REFLECT: What word resonates with you? What phrase speaks to you? What overall personal meaning comes to you? Allow yourself to follow a tangent.

RESPOND by making space for the prayer of your heart to manifest. Write down the words and/or phrases that resonate with you, and allow them to arrange themselves into your own poem or prayer.

REST with your eyes closed, perhaps using the word that most resonates with you as your mantra for silent meditation.


Dear friend,

May your mind be peaceful and calm, may your body be relaxed and comfortable, and may your heart be filled with love.

Blessings and gratitude, Ani


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1 Comment

Nov 10, 2022

Thank you for sharing Ani. We continue to pray for you. ❤️

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