I am writing to remind you of things you already know. When you are suffering, chances are that you are thinking about yourself. Having a “what about me” mindset is a sure way to sabotage your joy. To cultivate joy, you must get out of your head and open your heart.
Dwelling on yourself and the things you have labeled problems in your life leads to an attachment to circumstances or people being a certain way. This attachment then creates a desire within you to manipulate an outcome, as if you are the one who knows how things should be.
This is a disordered attachment, however, because you don’t have a wide enough perspective to really know the best outcome in any circumstance. You are only responsible for connecting to Love in each moment, which will result in skillful behavior. The outcome is not in your control. All those things that you have called problems are really opportunities in disguise.
So, how can you connect to Love and open your heart when you are stuck in “what about me” mode?
Here are a few simple things you can do:
· Look with love, appreciation, and gratitude at the people and things around you. See the beauty. Offer a prayer.
· Choose to believe the best of people, not the worst. The behavior of others is not about you. When they act unskillfully, know that they are in “what about me” mode, too.
· Give the love that you want to receive, not as a commodity, but as a free gift. Withholding love blocks the flow. You can’t give or receive with a closed fist.
· Forgive people’s unskillful behavior, and set boundaries, if needed.
· Have an attitude of devotion to Love, with words of praise always on your mind and lips and acts of dedication always in your hands.
Remember, this moment is an opportunity to connect to Love and so to live into the fullness of who you are.
As always, do what best awakens you to Love,
Your Inner Wisdom