I am writing to remind you of things you already know. Healthy relationships require an investment in thoughts, words, deeds, and time. If you have a relationship that is not fulfilling or downright difficult, a good place to start is by looking at what you’re investing in it. You may be called to reinvest, or you may be called to withdraw your investment by setting boundaries.
If there is a relationship that needs your reinvestment, know that the one true gift that you have to give is your presence. Unless someone asks for your advice, most often people want your listening ear and validation, your warm hand holding theirs, to share an experience with you, to laugh with you, or to have a shoulder on which to cry. And know that sometimes your own neediness may cause you to over-invest. At that time, perhaps what is needed is space.
What thoughts are you investing in the relationship? Are you judging the person or are you believing the best of them? Are kindness, empathy, and compassion evident in your thoughts?
What words are you investing? Are you speaking encouragement and support or criticism and correction? Are you remaining silent when you could offer affirmation and validation? Are you giving them the gift of your honesty?
What actions are you investing in the relationship? Are you showing your love by what you do or are you so busy with your own life that you forget about their needs? Are you doing so much for others that you neglect yourself, then feel resentful?
All of these investments also apply to cultivating a relationship with the Love within you. Nurturing a relationship with your Source requires time alone in silence so as to access your Inner Wisdom, to pour out your heart, to acknowledge your deepest desires, to set your intentions, and to remember with compassion the needs of your loved ones.
It is helpful to consider what view you hold of your Source. This view affects how you experience the relationship. Do you see your Source as distant, remote, and uninvolved? Is your Source like a judge waiting to execute a sentence when you make a mistake? Do you feel the need to barter and plead with your Source for favors, or do you trust your Source to provide for all of your needs? Do you relate to your Source as a parent, friend, lover, or even a child? Or perhaps, is your Source intimately connected to the Essence of who you are? Maybe your Source takes different roles at different times and/or is a mixture of many of these things. A view of your Source that is life-giving goes a long way in creating a healthy relationship.
Deep, enriching relationships are possible—with the people in your life and with the Love within you. All it takes is your open, willing heart and your time.
Remember, this moment is an opportunity to connect to Love and so to live into the fullness of who you are.
As always, do what best awakens you to Love,
Your Inner Wisdom